after the highlights

congratulations to gavin and karlene who got married on saturday at the algonquin island club house on the toronto islands!
sarah and i were lucky enough to attend their wedding yesterday. it was beautiful. i arrived early to help finish with the setup. the algonquin clubhouse is set on algonquin island (it's in the middle and north of the others...) a little ways away from any of the houses there. it's set close to the water facing the city. it's a nice view in the daytime, and ridiculously spectacular at night. the building is a nice simple room with a wood floor and lots of windows that doubles as a montessori school the rest of the time. there's also a nice simple patio with a tree growing out of it and a lawn leading up to the lake. the room itself looks like it could seat 100 pretty easily, cuz it's also got a couple alcoves and a bar area, with a full kitchen and washrooms. it was great.
i've known gavin and karlene long enough to know a lot of the other guests too, so i had some really nice reunions of people i hadn't seen for a long time, and i got to meet new people too.
karlene's family is wonderful. her dad brought some award-winning guyanese rum - 12 year old eldorado - that was astonishing. great. now i have another expensive taste to try to fit into my slim wallet. it's as nice as a really fine single malt scotch just a different flavour... if anyone is travelling in the carribbean it's a standing request of mine...(btw baldwin says that the 15 year old is better but not worth the difference in price...)
anyway, everybody came over to the island around 2pm, and there was some mingling and a little drinking and meeting new people. then it was time for the ceremony. gavin and karlene started by asking their parents to stand with them, then asked a lot friends to stand up with them too and witness with them and "hold them to it". i was very honoured to be asked to stand with gavin. it was really quite special, and something i hope sarah and i can also do. their ceremony was basically just vows they'd written for themselves, and they were both eloquent and heartfelt and beautiful. gavin lost his vows and had to work from memory. (when it became evident that this was the case, those of us standing witness for him exchanged a look and a nod. we were not surprised.) there was also a justice there to do the legal minimum, and he was very tasteful and discreet and after the ceremony he disappeared without anyone noticing. we were very busy ourselves toasting enthusiastically. of course i did shed a number of tears but i too was discreet.
after the toasting there was a cricket match arranged, more or less between the west indies and the world (karlene's side vs gavins). the stakes were playfully set at rights to the last name. gavin mootoo? karlene mclachlan? but not for true. although we weren't gonna let gavin down with bragging rights still on the table... of course the rules were radically altered to accomodate us cricket initiates, and for time constraints. i got to bowl and bat. i only managed one run, but i got high marks for my bowling...everybody kept asking how i knew about cricket, but i think i've only ever seen it on tv, in highlight reels very occasionally. but i guess i have an idea of how it's supposed to look and so i imitated it. actually it felt a little fun in a cocky sorta way to be able to say "oh i saw it on tv one time..." gavin's brothers, jerome and stephane were there for him too. ian mclachlan was very fond of repeating jerome's assertion that "it's ok if gavin changes his name but not cuz we lose". funny that jerome scored a game-high 7 runs and was named man of the match... so gavin doesn't need to endure any teasing about losing his name in a cricket match.
it was tons of fun to play, and it was also a nice sorta bonding experience to Play with all these people. that's another thing sarah and i are going to include in our wedding plans - but probably slow pitch...
then it was time for dinner and more great conversations and good food and more bonding and community building...actually that's maybe the best way to describe the day, and i guess how i want to think about our wedding too, as a community building experience....
after dinner the dj was set up and got things going but, i feel bad for the guy cuz really he couldn't compete with the beautiful weather, the beautiful sunset, the beautiful view, the beautiful setting or the beautiful people getting recharged off each other. it was a really special group of people gathered together, sharing drinks, food, conversation, expressing their support and their love for gavin and karlene. community building...hmmm...
we sat outside on the grass, on the steps, on the breakwater, under the trees, under the stars and the night passed. i really wish it could've lasted forever. i felt so good there. and i didn't even get to talk to everyone either. it's kinda backwards but i guess that's a good sign. it made me feel really good about myself and my people and sarah and our relationship and stuff... those moments are too rare, and oh so special. i wish i had better words.
we were really involved in the whole thing, and it was our privilege and we were honoured to do it. i got to tell them how much i loved them and how proud i was of them and how beautiful their wedding was and how happy i was for them. anything we did was only the least we could do.

it was also an example of how the best things in life can also make you realize how short life is ... or maybe more like they show you how good things can be, and motivate you to change in that way...it was inspiring. it's something i can hold onto when my certainty slips about career change and making a life. which happens more often than i want.

anyway, i'm sure i'll have more thoughts on this subject soon. for now it's dinner time, and we're eating some of the leftovers from the wedding...