in an effort to not waste time...?

so in an effort to not 'waste' my day i'm blogging. it's productive. it's a way of engaging with the world. that might be the important part. otherwise i'd probably just lie on the couch and watch tv, or play video games. certainly i wouldn't be doing laundry today or cleaning the house (although i did unload the clean and load the dirty dishes into the dishwasher...). i may have told most of you about this already, but ever since i re-read "pattern recognition" by william gibson i realized i wanted to try harder to engage with the world, instead of the escapism i've often practised (video games, too much tv... i don't include books cuz more often than not they provide a new filter or lense to view the world through, or myself, or my place in the world...). i am a firm believer in escapism as mental therapy, but you can't live in therapy. so i was feeling unchallenged, unrewarded, out of touch, and kinda lost. partly my fault for escaping so often. having realized all that, i also realized how hard it is to engage in a meaningful way. doh. if only all my favourite authors could finish their next books... they might be favourites cuz their work tends to be good lenses (maybe mirrors is a better way of putting it...) for me. this is an act of active engaging. (jen you should take a look at "pattern recognition" - the main character is a plucky woman who i think you'd like...)

book du jour - "true history of the kelly gang" by peter carey. written in first person in the voice of ned kelly, a semi-literate poor colonial irish descended australian living in late 19th centry rural australia. brilliant prose, great historical fiction. kelly was something between robin hood and jesse james. i'm loving it, and it will be something i can recommend for father's day shoppers - phew. i might need to investigate this actual history further. and more broadly, the history of the irish in australia. partly it reminds me of the little that i know of the poor irish catholics around peterborough. protestants controlled parts of the region and the prejudices immigrated unscathed from ireland. according to gavin, bridgenorth and ennismore (two settlements on either side of chemong lake, really close to peterborough) were religiously divided. the protestants lived in bridgenorth, and the catholics lived in the swamps of ennismore... add this to the list of essays i'd like to write if or when i go back to school or just get the gumption " a comparison of the history of irish settlement in canada and australia"...

today would be a good day to sit at the only all day. read a bit of newspaper, read some more of 'the kelly gang', maybe write a bit, people watch, eat some good food...sigh...havent' really found a substitute in my neighbourhood. oh well.

another book i've been reading lately is 'i could do anything if i only knew what it was' by barbara sher. it was pretty good actually. some useful ideas and exercises. there was one part i was interested, partly cuz i like finding out about me, that talked about people who's interest or commitment or drive doesnt' seem to last. they want too many things, all over the map, can't decide on one particular thing, get bored after the beginning... she described 2 kinds of people for whom this is true. 1 - the scanner - likes variety, have wide-ranging, varying interests, highly adaptable and flexible, fast learner, like and respect all kinds of thinking, may be unwilling to dedicate yourself to one path ("a scholar is someone who sticks to something. a poet is someone who uses whatever sticks to him" -robert frost)
2 the diver - wants to get deep into things, dedicate time to deep study, BUT if a diver can't dive, then they act like scanners, like if they can't commit to a choice. i feel a bit like both of those are true. part of the problem is that i get to a point of wanting to do more pretty quickly, even though i don't have the abilities or knowledge that come with methodical or prolonged study. or sometimes i feel ready for the next step but don't have the opportunities and then feel like i'm spinning my wheels while i wait for the opportunities to present themselves or open up, maybe resenting the position i'm in... nice to know it's not laziness. i haven't finished or followed through as often as i wish i had, and maybe this armchair psychology is a kind of explanation. (actually the author is a real shrink not just an armchair one like me....)
hmm...it's almost time for sarah to finish work so i've gotta go put together a picnic for her.

nba notes - game one was pretty exciting, especially since the spurs won. i expect the whole series to be the same, although i don't really expect the spurs to win every game. they'll probably take the series but it's definitely not a lock. i'm curious as to why the spurs don't have parker guard rip hamilton and ginobili guard billups - it would even up the strength and speed matchups i'd think...