kicked in the heart

this is just a short update post... i just finished "everything is illuminated" this afternoon. i finished it on my afternoon break. my boss had to ask me if i needed to take a minute. no tears, but whoa... kicked in the heart. really a quite beautiful book. maybe understated. i'm gonna have to read it again. so so much in it. and then it was over. whoa. everybody should read it...maybe...it's sadder than it is funny...a very pretty kind of sadness...
there are really only three characters - the "hero", jonathan safran foer (same name as author...), his translator alex/sasha, alex's grandfather who is also the driver, and sammy davis junior junior, grandpa's dog. it's about a guy who goes to the ukraine to try to find a woman who may have helped his grandfather escape the nazis, but jsf only has a photo to go by. alex and grandfather are kinda last minute translator/driver, but alex's english kinda funny, and the funny-ness brings really funny translations and really interesting and important and stupidly eloquent layers of meaning to the story. grandfather kinda breaks my heart for the whole book... actually i don't want to say anymore. i loved this book so much, it's hard to comprehend how the author did what he did with what he did...

enough. now i'm starting "the historian" by elizabeth kostovo. historical fiction spanning centuries of eastern european history, centering around the carpathian mountains...anybody's spidey-sense tingling? it's about dracula...but i feel obliged to say that this is more like literature...it got a really good review in the star a week or so ago (hence the number of customers coming into the store asking "where's that book that was in the star...i dunno...last weekend or maybe the one before that...?" as if there was only one book in the star...actually they haven't been too bad for this book. they've all remembered the title for one thing. not just the colour of the cover. ) so far so good, and it's like a 1000 pages so it should last me all week.

everything is illuminated

ok so i took adam's advice ... but i think it's gonna work out. i'm reading "everything is illuminated" now, by jonathan safran foer. so far very good. i feel like i've read a lot since i last posted what i've been reading. ok there was 'get shorty', 'true history of the kelly gang', 'forests of the night' by james hall, ...what am i forgetting? oh well. 'illuminated' is so very good so far. about a guy looking for the woman who might have saved his grandfather from the nazis with the help of a dog named sammy davis junior junior (yes 2 jr's) and a not very good translator. actually the bad english of the translator, alex, is pretty much genius. let me give you an example - alex is one of the narrators of the story:

"...i have tutored Little Igor to be a man of this world. For an example, I exhibited him a smutty magazine three days yore, so that he should be appraised of the many positions in which I am carnal. "This is the sixty-nine" I told him, presenting the magazine in front of him. I put my fingers - two of them - on the action so that he would not overlook it. "Why is it dubbed sixty-nine?" he asked, because he is a person hot on fire with curiosity. "It was invented in 1969. My friend Gregory knows the nephew of the inventor." "What did people do before 1969?" "Merely blowjobs and masticating box, but never in chorus."...
...I am burdened to recite my good appearance. I am unequivocally tall. I do not know any women who are taller than me. The women I know who are taller than me are lesbians, for whom 1969 was a good year..."

that was on page 3. i've got a good feeling about this book.

words caught me off guard

this is kind of a nothing post, just a couple quotes of song lyrics that caught me off guard lately, kinda got in there where i live...i love these lyrics so i thought i'd share

"i'm not all i thought i'd be
i always stayed around
i've been as far as mercy and grand
frozen to the ground
i can't stay here and i'm scared to leave
(just kiss me once and then)
i'll go to hell
i might as well
be whistlin down the wind"
-tom waits, "whistle down the wind" from bone machine
tom waits is kind of a motherfucker sometimes with his heartbreakingly good lyrics...

"love is only trouble
we're both too drunk to steer it
we may never be angels
but we're lousy with the spirit"
-constantines, "on to you" from shine a light
i just love the last line really. it's genius. it makes me think of me and adam and dan and sarah and michelle and nicole and jeff and kendra and...it makes me think of everybody...past and present...that's us...very much me i think/hope...the guy diving for a frisbee when we're just throwing it in the park...caring about stuff lots and lots...big hearts all of us...aw geeze now i'm feeling mushy...i'll be into booze tonight...
love y'all

in an effort to not waste time...?

so in an effort to not 'waste' my day i'm blogging. it's productive. it's a way of engaging with the world. that might be the important part. otherwise i'd probably just lie on the couch and watch tv, or play video games. certainly i wouldn't be doing laundry today or cleaning the house (although i did unload the clean and load the dirty dishes into the dishwasher...). i may have told most of you about this already, but ever since i re-read "pattern recognition" by william gibson i realized i wanted to try harder to engage with the world, instead of the escapism i've often practised (video games, too much tv... i don't include books cuz more often than not they provide a new filter or lense to view the world through, or myself, or my place in the world...). i am a firm believer in escapism as mental therapy, but you can't live in therapy. so i was feeling unchallenged, unrewarded, out of touch, and kinda lost. partly my fault for escaping so often. having realized all that, i also realized how hard it is to engage in a meaningful way. doh. if only all my favourite authors could finish their next books... they might be favourites cuz their work tends to be good lenses (maybe mirrors is a better way of putting it...) for me. this is an act of active engaging. (jen you should take a look at "pattern recognition" - the main character is a plucky woman who i think you'd like...)

book du jour - "true history of the kelly gang" by peter carey. written in first person in the voice of ned kelly, a semi-literate poor colonial irish descended australian living in late 19th centry rural australia. brilliant prose, great historical fiction. kelly was something between robin hood and jesse james. i'm loving it, and it will be something i can recommend for father's day shoppers - phew. i might need to investigate this actual history further. and more broadly, the history of the irish in australia. partly it reminds me of the little that i know of the poor irish catholics around peterborough. protestants controlled parts of the region and the prejudices immigrated unscathed from ireland. according to gavin, bridgenorth and ennismore (two settlements on either side of chemong lake, really close to peterborough) were religiously divided. the protestants lived in bridgenorth, and the catholics lived in the swamps of ennismore... add this to the list of essays i'd like to write if or when i go back to school or just get the gumption " a comparison of the history of irish settlement in canada and australia"...

today would be a good day to sit at the only all day. read a bit of newspaper, read some more of 'the kelly gang', maybe write a bit, people watch, eat some good food...sigh...havent' really found a substitute in my neighbourhood. oh well.

another book i've been reading lately is 'i could do anything if i only knew what it was' by barbara sher. it was pretty good actually. some useful ideas and exercises. there was one part i was interested, partly cuz i like finding out about me, that talked about people who's interest or commitment or drive doesnt' seem to last. they want too many things, all over the map, can't decide on one particular thing, get bored after the beginning... she described 2 kinds of people for whom this is true. 1 - the scanner - likes variety, have wide-ranging, varying interests, highly adaptable and flexible, fast learner, like and respect all kinds of thinking, may be unwilling to dedicate yourself to one path ("a scholar is someone who sticks to something. a poet is someone who uses whatever sticks to him" -robert frost)
2 the diver - wants to get deep into things, dedicate time to deep study, BUT if a diver can't dive, then they act like scanners, like if they can't commit to a choice. i feel a bit like both of those are true. part of the problem is that i get to a point of wanting to do more pretty quickly, even though i don't have the abilities or knowledge that come with methodical or prolonged study. or sometimes i feel ready for the next step but don't have the opportunities and then feel like i'm spinning my wheels while i wait for the opportunities to present themselves or open up, maybe resenting the position i'm in... nice to know it's not laziness. i haven't finished or followed through as often as i wish i had, and maybe this armchair psychology is a kind of explanation. (actually the author is a real shrink not just an armchair one like me....)
hmm...it's almost time for sarah to finish work so i've gotta go put together a picnic for her.

nba notes - game one was pretty exciting, especially since the spurs won. i expect the whole series to be the same, although i don't really expect the spurs to win every game. they'll probably take the series but it's definitely not a lock. i'm curious as to why the spurs don't have parker guard rip hamilton and ginobili guard billups - it would even up the strength and speed matchups i'd think...

finding kids books for feminists

ok folks, i gotta tell ya...finding kids books for a feminist is not the easiest thing in the world to do, especially when her little person is only 4, and she knows exactly what kind of books she wants for the little person, but no titles in mind... (doh...i just had a flash of inpiration...2 hours too late...shoulda showed her 'the paperbag princess'...oh well...it very often happens that i find the perfect book for a customer 5 minutes after they leave or think of some great ideas... frustrating that)
so as i'm passing through the kids section at work, (where i can find pretty much anything, more or less, but i can't necessarily recommend stuff except by author reputation or fuzzy memories or what is selling or other people have told me is good ( and sometimes i can't recommend the stuff i remember cuz it's kinda ... dated in it's sensitivities...?). so this black lady is kinda looking around like she needs help so i offer to help her. she's looking for "pioneer stories" for her 4 year old, but not like the europeans who colonised north america "pioneer stories", more like the first woman to do something, or stuff like that - pioneers in the broad sense. i'm impressed by the idea but a little unsure what i can find for a 4 year old.
(NOTe: Jen and 'Col are not allowed to get mad at me for not thinking of something that is totally obvious to them...but ideas are welcome)
so we try the kids history section, cuz i know i've seen stuff about great figures in women's history, and there's a couple maybes which she shoots down. the first one was definitely too advanced for her kid. the other one was an underground railroad kinda story, but it was ultimately disempowering. i begin to suspect feminist tendencies and think harder. next we try the 'tails from around the world' section, where i'm hoping to find something that fits the bill or to fall back on multiculturalistic intentions. also i know that there's something about nelson mandela there. turns out its a collection of stuff selected by mandela, not about mandela. hmm... now i also face a funny question, and i'm putting this out there for thought - should i just reach for nelson mandela? or is that too obvious and therefore maybe a bit racist? is overthinking the situation i different kind of well-intentioned racism? ... i left mandela on the shelf. hmm...
as our adventure continues i picked and pulled a few titles for her consideration, "the first strawberry" (a cherokee tale about a woman who discovers strawberries) is the only actual title i can remember although there was a mexican one too. both turned down, one cuz of gender role issues, the other cuz it mentioned "poor indians" ("bad on both counts"). i am not mocking the lady, in case that's not clear here on the internet where there's no tone of voice...this was just a generally tricky situation - i was in full support of her request and really wanted to help her, only i couldn't really....well i guess i did, cuz she did appreciate the time i spent with her, and i managed to find a dozen books resembling what she wanted from which she took one. all the others were turned down with feminist critiques... but apparently feminism hasn't swept all the way through children's literature to what she wanted...or i could not find it. normally when a customer is that picky....except she was picky in the right way i guess.
ya know this was funnier in my head. stupid post.
and i don't remember what she actually purchased. sorry. i was just glad i was able to find something for her (because i was glad to find something for her kid, not for my own sake).

galveston

i have this new idea that i should title my blogs by the name of the book that i'm reading, that way i'll sound cool, poetic, and somewhat cryptic - dare i say enigmatic...?
so actually i just finished reading "galveston" by paul quarrington (writer of the book 'whale music'...) and i really liked it. it had a lot of the qualities i'd been looking for in a book lately. good prose - the kind where you occasionally pause to reread something especially nice. also it was recommendable, maybe not universally recommendable, but i would certainly recommend it. it was pleasantly quirky that's for sure. some laughter, some tears. vibrant characters... decent sex scenes... yeah good book. now what am i gonna read? how am i even gonna make it work with nothing to read on the streetcar? doh. also i picked up a self-help book by barbara sher called 'i could do anything if i only knew what it was'. seems to fit the bill huh...

in other news...well there's not much other news really. it's monday night... i can't believe it's only monday night... still can't play any basketball (stupid formerly good knee still hurts)

i made us a couch on sunday out of our old foam mattress and a futon frame. yay. now sarah can sew a cover of some kind and then we can get rid of the ugly couch. the new couch is very comfortable.

hmmm...i guess that's all i got for now. maybe i'm forgetting something, but of course i could just post again later...

and a little poetry for mere

the cinnamon peeler by michael ondaatje (from 'running in the family' - closest thing i got to a very favourite book maybe...)

If I were a cinnamon peeler
I would ride your bed
and leave the yellow bark dust
on your pillow.

Your breasts and shoulders would reek
you could never walk through markets
without the profession of my fingers
floating over you. The blind would
stumble certain fo whom they approached
though you might bathe
under rain gutters, monsoon.

Here on the upper thigh
at this smooth pasture
neighbour to your hair
or the crease
that cuts your back. This ankle.
You will be known among strangers
as the cinnamon peeler's wife.

I could hardly glance at you
before marriage
never touch you
-your keen nosed mother, your rough brothers.
I buried my hands
saffron, disguised them
over smoking tar,
helped the honey gatherers...

*

When we swam once
I touched you in water
and our bodies remained free,
you could hold me and be blind of smell.
You climbed the bank and said

this is how you touch other women
the grass cutter's wife, the lime burner's daughter.
And you searched your arms
for the missing perfume
and knew

what good is it
to be the lime burner's daughter
left with no trace
as if not spoken to in the act of love
as if wounded without the pleasure of a scar.

You touched
your belly to my hands
in the dry air and said
I am the cinnamon
peeler's wife. Smell me.