i have a challenge for everyone who shops at winners - see if you can find (in the normal course of your winners shopping) something on the clearance rack with a reduced price that is higher than $570.
that's right $570.
(regular winners price is $1095)
on the clearance rack.
it happens to me everytime i go to winners. i'll be skimming along the clearance racks and see a shirt or a jacket that is well above $200 on sale. maybe a jacket sticks out a bit as looking nice (not flashy nice, just well cut or nicely patterned or a nice material)...or a shirt...so lift up the price tag and all i can do is laugh cuz I'll find out that i have $400 or $500 dollar taste...
that happened 4 times last night.
in other adventures, as i walked in the door i heard a familiar voice say "paul wehrle"...and so i looked up to see jen whiteford walking towards me... ain't that funny? she lives in ottawa and I haven't seen her in a few years but there she was. so we had a nice chat and caught up a little bit. great to see her again. i wish i was also going to the punk-rock bowling championships in vegas...
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
oh yeah a funny thing from youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc
if i was smarter i could make this a hyper-link or somehting. you could just copy and paste it though.
remember the hinterland who's who vignettes?
then you'll appreciate this one. trust me.
if i was smarter i could make this a hyper-link or somehting. you could just copy and paste it though.
remember the hinterland who's who vignettes?
then you'll appreciate this one. trust me.
pretty good week so far knockonwoodknockonwoodknockonwood
so far this week...2 full days without a panic attack, despite not having a single day without 9 of them in at least hte past month...played basketball...in a new gym close to home with a nice parquet hardwood floor that is full size, or at least big enough for a 5 on 5 game...easy week at work...also managed to not eat any chocolate in the past 4 days.
i'm not sure what to make of 2 days without a panic attack really. I can think of a number of reasons for an increase in frequency, strength and duration in december, but not really any reasons for them to stop. let's see...december...christmas...not so much money...wanting (not needing) to give out more presents than i/we were able to (i just walk around noticing things that i'd love to get for my people or do for them when i'm actually doing somehting else and christmas is usually the time of year when i can indulge that feeling)...family history of december and christmas...spending more time around said family - which is often difficult.... whatever.... anyway, i'm not gonna get excited about 2 days. I think i've gone a week or so before this. as hard as i've tried i haven't been able to identify consistencies or patterns in the hows and whys and whens and wheres of my attacks. it's been kinda nice though. the week or so before this have been particularly bad in terms of frequency, and severity. i had a few attacks that were just kind of a mental/emotional white-out. and then the rest of the day those days was all walking on egg shells and feeling pretty fragile and worried/scared that the next one is about to hit. on one level i know that i'm having an attack even when it's happening. doesn't stop me from experiencing the whiteout of real fear.
hmm...2 days without an attack...the same 2 days i've played video games...coincedence...?
as for basketball, it'll take some time to get used to playing 5 on 5 instead of 4 on 4, and it'll also take some time to get used to the bigger gym... I kept flying down the court and having this wierd feeling of wondering why i wasn't under the basket yet. made me feel slower actually. on the immediately good side - hardwood flooring is nicer to my knees and back than concrete. could be that it'll hurt more to dive for loose balls though...(the hardwood is much less slippery = awesome floor burn...not that i'm afraid...) i hit some big shots too one dagger and one coffin-nail...(defn's -"dagger": the game breaker or game-winner, sometimes ending a good run or comeback by the other team..."coffin-nail": the shot that puts the game out of reach for the other team and takes the heart out of them; as in the expression 'putting the last nail in the coffin') the other fun thing about 5 on 5 is that the spacing can more closely resemble an nba game and you can see how steve nash sets up some of his passes or how and where the ball and his team mates move, and then make the same moves yourself (twice...)
i finished with one highlight reel pass/play and one highlight reel layup coming off a screen and seeing the floor open up a lane that curved into the paint and then taking it and making it.
and work has been pretty light. (in case you hadn't heard there's an actor strike, combined with right after christmas and so i've had some extra time on my hands. trust me there's plenty i could be doing but very little that's on a deadline.
and i should probably continue this another time or something.
hope everyone is well.
i'm not sure what to make of 2 days without a panic attack really. I can think of a number of reasons for an increase in frequency, strength and duration in december, but not really any reasons for them to stop. let's see...december...christmas...not so much money...wanting (not needing) to give out more presents than i/we were able to (i just walk around noticing things that i'd love to get for my people or do for them when i'm actually doing somehting else and christmas is usually the time of year when i can indulge that feeling)...family history of december and christmas...spending more time around said family - which is often difficult.... whatever.... anyway, i'm not gonna get excited about 2 days. I think i've gone a week or so before this. as hard as i've tried i haven't been able to identify consistencies or patterns in the hows and whys and whens and wheres of my attacks. it's been kinda nice though. the week or so before this have been particularly bad in terms of frequency, and severity. i had a few attacks that were just kind of a mental/emotional white-out. and then the rest of the day those days was all walking on egg shells and feeling pretty fragile and worried/scared that the next one is about to hit. on one level i know that i'm having an attack even when it's happening. doesn't stop me from experiencing the whiteout of real fear.
hmm...2 days without an attack...the same 2 days i've played video games...coincedence...?
as for basketball, it'll take some time to get used to playing 5 on 5 instead of 4 on 4, and it'll also take some time to get used to the bigger gym... I kept flying down the court and having this wierd feeling of wondering why i wasn't under the basket yet. made me feel slower actually. on the immediately good side - hardwood flooring is nicer to my knees and back than concrete. could be that it'll hurt more to dive for loose balls though...(the hardwood is much less slippery = awesome floor burn...not that i'm afraid...) i hit some big shots too one dagger and one coffin-nail...(defn's -"dagger": the game breaker or game-winner, sometimes ending a good run or comeback by the other team..."coffin-nail": the shot that puts the game out of reach for the other team and takes the heart out of them; as in the expression 'putting the last nail in the coffin') the other fun thing about 5 on 5 is that the spacing can more closely resemble an nba game and you can see how steve nash sets up some of his passes or how and where the ball and his team mates move, and then make the same moves yourself (twice...)
i finished with one highlight reel pass/play and one highlight reel layup coming off a screen and seeing the floor open up a lane that curved into the paint and then taking it and making it.
and work has been pretty light. (in case you hadn't heard there's an actor strike, combined with right after christmas and so i've had some extra time on my hands. trust me there's plenty i could be doing but very little that's on a deadline.
and i should probably continue this another time or something.
hope everyone is well.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
tee hee...apparently i'm jolly...
so the receptionist where i work thanked me this morning for always being so jolly...my how the world turns...
although sarah thinks it's only because the receptionist must be cute or otherwise i wouldn't be so jolly. hmm. is there a correlation? admittedly when she said i was jolly i replied that seeing her behind the desk would brighten anybody's day... can i help it if i'm just that suave and gallant?
anyway, this whole jolly thing is kinda fun.
although sarah thinks it's only because the receptionist must be cute or otherwise i wouldn't be so jolly. hmm. is there a correlation? admittedly when she said i was jolly i replied that seeing her behind the desk would brighten anybody's day... can i help it if i'm just that suave and gallant?
anyway, this whole jolly thing is kinda fun.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
oh yeah...
you should check back to my blog more often...maybe comment...(if you pay attention to ME it'll be helpful...i'll blog more...)
also i did an awesome crossover and flipped up a highlight reel finger roll
...as well as putting on a burst of speed (oh yeah i still got a little something) and
stretching out to put a left handed layup off the glass...
...hmm...i wish i could remember the other thing i was forgetting...
oh well.
yay beer?
...although maybe i should be drinking more hard liquor in terms of the calories...probably i should learn more about healthy foods and stuff...and drink more wine - that's healthy right? (is port healthy too?)
also i did an awesome crossover and flipped up a highlight reel finger roll
...as well as putting on a burst of speed (oh yeah i still got a little something) and
stretching out to put a left handed layup off the glass...
...hmm...i wish i could remember the other thing i was forgetting...
oh well.
yay beer?
...although maybe i should be drinking more hard liquor in terms of the calories...probably i should learn more about healthy foods and stuff...and drink more wine - that's healthy right? (is port healthy too?)
not so much new years resolutions...more like reflections...hopes...wishes...
...home from basketball - the first basketball night of the year and the first in about a month...yes, ouch is a good word. a can of the ol' newkie brown (newcastle brown ale if you don't know) is going very nicely. and i've got thoughts...reflections...hopes...wishes...
like i wanna try to be more consistent, more aware, more committed to my social responsibilities, and making the world a better place...to that end i've started by purchasing "An Inconvenient Truth" (the book) with the idea that even though he's preaching to the converted, maybe it'll have some helpful reminders, maybe some inspirations... and i got another book called "Getting to Maybe" which i'm hoping will provide some help in terms of practical application of my new intention to do more or at least do what i can more consistently. (thanks to sarah's grandma for the gift card to the bookstore.)
and i wanna blog again. regularly. and say smart things...or funny things...maybe both...
and i wanna eat healthier...maybe exercise...(?)...(i hate the cliche...)...see the thing is i didn't wear a belt today...and my pants stayed up...(duh duh duh...)
what else...hmm...maybe i'll tell you about my holidays while i try to think of something good..
so our christmas only ended on friday. what with the visiting on both sides of the family trees...the driving...and the driving... it was all pretty nice actually. there were a couple hellish moments but i can't really talk about it all on the interweb. all the visits were pretty nice though. actually really nice.
ok i got nothin.
actually that's it.
i'm done.
all that christmas...all that visiting...and then today being back at work...which was also fine...ok i'm just a little tired. besides, if i think about my thoughts...reflections...hopes...wishes...think about them some more...maybe talk/write about them...express my feelings...(actually if i express my feelings sarah might even read this blog...when she's not too busy sanding things and repainting the apartment...or at least choosing colours...)
...yeah i'm gonna end on a funny...
like i wanna try to be more consistent, more aware, more committed to my social responsibilities, and making the world a better place...to that end i've started by purchasing "An Inconvenient Truth" (the book) with the idea that even though he's preaching to the converted, maybe it'll have some helpful reminders, maybe some inspirations... and i got another book called "Getting to Maybe" which i'm hoping will provide some help in terms of practical application of my new intention to do more or at least do what i can more consistently. (thanks to sarah's grandma for the gift card to the bookstore.)
and i wanna blog again. regularly. and say smart things...or funny things...maybe both...
and i wanna eat healthier...maybe exercise...(?)...(i hate the cliche...)...see the thing is i didn't wear a belt today...and my pants stayed up...(duh duh duh...)
what else...hmm...maybe i'll tell you about my holidays while i try to think of something good..
so our christmas only ended on friday. what with the visiting on both sides of the family trees...the driving...and the driving... it was all pretty nice actually. there were a couple hellish moments but i can't really talk about it all on the interweb. all the visits were pretty nice though. actually really nice.
ok i got nothin.
actually that's it.
i'm done.
all that christmas...all that visiting...and then today being back at work...which was also fine...ok i'm just a little tired. besides, if i think about my thoughts...reflections...hopes...wishes...think about them some more...maybe talk/write about them...express my feelings...(actually if i express my feelings sarah might even read this blog...when she's not too busy sanding things and repainting the apartment...or at least choosing colours...)
...yeah i'm gonna end on a funny...
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
ya can't argue with a cold can of sapporo and a couple ice packs...
it's the best thing really after basketball (playing not watching) and i'm really hurtin cuz i forgot that i'm 30+ and out of shape and ran like i'm not...seriously, for the first 30 minutes we were all run and gun, which means i was out leading the break at full speed and sprinting back on defence...just try running as fast as you can and then stopping, jumping, and turning around to sprint the other way...now that you've got the hang of that, add in some boxing out and fighting for rebounds and loose balls, maybe dive on a cement floor a couple times, and running sideways and around people who don't necessarily want to let you run around them...if you're still feeling ok, find someone younger, faster, and more athletic (but not as gritty and with less heart...) and try to chase them...for 30 minutes cuz even though you're pushing the ball and setting good screens and rebounding, you're maybe not hitting your shots so much...actually i was but my teammates were a little cold...except for gary (round mound of rebound...seriously he's 45 and totally unathletic but he's got a nose for the ball and a certain tenacity...i've gotten bruises fighting him for rebounds...i love that guy...)
i bought this sapporo especially for 'after basketball' actually. good call.
so how have you been?
me...i've been struggling...depression seems to be kinda under control...better living through medication... anxiety/stress...not so much. it seems like i might also be suffering from an anxiety disorder...or something... those silly little misunderstood/poorly diagnosed/funny little psych things.
i have numerous panic/anxiety attacks most days.
seemingly unconnected to where i am what i'm doing or what's going on around me.
if i've been talking to you in the past year, i've had one while talking to you. (you didn't notice cuz they last about 30 seconds and i "know what they are"...at least enough to recognize the nausea and shortness of breath and pounding heart and terror as "not real"...ie no one is running at me with a knife or a gun, i'm not about to give a speech to a hostile audience and you didn't say anything terribly upsetting...it just happened.) and i can fake my way through things until the part of myself that's whited out stops doing that.
(don't try the problem-solving thing ok - it happens at all times of the day, at work and at home and everywhere i've been in the past year and even when i'm playing basketball and sometimes i have them when i'm dreaming and wake myself up... so patterns aren't in it...although my new shrink is pretty sure we'll be able to sort it out. i'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. he's prescribed more meds specifically for this part of things...fair trade i say.)
for my part, i'm seeing a shrink. new guy, not the woman i saw the winter before last. he comes recommended. and so far so good. even if he is in the east end...sigh
i think other things have been happening since the last posting. but that's the biggest thing. especially lately.
i dunno.
i work a lot.
i haven't been reading as much lately. it's a timing thing kinda. the cycles of book releases means that things i could read for free in hardcover when i was last working in a bookstore are coming out in paperback. the new titles are still in hardcover and i can't afford that. i gotta wait a bit longer for stuff that came out after i was a bookstore employee to come out in paperback so i can afford it.
i've found a few things i really absolutely love.
Sherman Alexie - he writes brilliant short stories about basketball actually...some of the most beautiful writing i've come across, and only a beautiful few stories are about basketball, and the rest of the beautiful stories are not. thanx to brook and colleen for lending me "the toughest indian in the world" and thanx to adam and michelle for the gift certificate that i used to buy more sherman alexie.
Cormac McCarthy - he writes biblically, epicly...he knows more words than the dictionary...and he can write in such a huge enormous grand scale (bigger than moby dick) and i'm enthralled and amazed by his language.
other than those two i've been struggling a bit to find books that really get me excited...although i've enjoyed a bunch of books i've read that i can't think of right now...
i just picked up the new tom waits...well i love (love) 2 out of 3 discs...i'll take it. i love the two discs i love enough that i don't mind having paid for the set.
i love sarah too. every day. all day... she gives that grinch heart-growing-to-be-two-sizes-too-big-for-his-chest feeling all the time. (actually i often have that feeling...i have a big heart...i hope so anyway...)
work is ok i hope...even though i'm on my last warning for talking out of turn (my well-documented low bullshit tolerance in action with clients who don't have their shit together...) actually i was given my last warning about a month or 6 weeks ago, and things have been pretty ok lately...i've been keeping my head down...and adam held an intervention... (actually i'm feeling vengeful...anything the women folk want me to talk to him about?...like the infamous "the women folk are worried about your drinking" intervention at the turn of the century...?)
anyway, i guess that's all i got.
tired. and struggling.
let's play poker and eat good food and have good times more often ok kids, otherwise the next post is gonna end up being an essay entitled "depression is like loneliness, that's why i'm the social convener - you guys make me feel better cuz you're good and you can't feel lonely when you're actually with good people"...hmm...don't make me use that title ok.
what's everyone up to this weekend?
i'm gonna go to cambridge and visit my family and relatives.
i'm gonna try to get back to this blogging thing. i'm hereby commiting to one posting every week. hopefully more. we'll see how it goes.
take care of yourselves ok.
you're important.
i bought this sapporo especially for 'after basketball' actually. good call.
so how have you been?
me...i've been struggling...depression seems to be kinda under control...better living through medication... anxiety/stress...not so much. it seems like i might also be suffering from an anxiety disorder...or something... those silly little misunderstood/poorly diagnosed/funny little psych things.
i have numerous panic/anxiety attacks most days.
seemingly unconnected to where i am what i'm doing or what's going on around me.
if i've been talking to you in the past year, i've had one while talking to you. (you didn't notice cuz they last about 30 seconds and i "know what they are"...at least enough to recognize the nausea and shortness of breath and pounding heart and terror as "not real"...ie no one is running at me with a knife or a gun, i'm not about to give a speech to a hostile audience and you didn't say anything terribly upsetting...it just happened.) and i can fake my way through things until the part of myself that's whited out stops doing that.
(don't try the problem-solving thing ok - it happens at all times of the day, at work and at home and everywhere i've been in the past year and even when i'm playing basketball and sometimes i have them when i'm dreaming and wake myself up... so patterns aren't in it...although my new shrink is pretty sure we'll be able to sort it out. i'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. he's prescribed more meds specifically for this part of things...fair trade i say.)
for my part, i'm seeing a shrink. new guy, not the woman i saw the winter before last. he comes recommended. and so far so good. even if he is in the east end...sigh
i think other things have been happening since the last posting. but that's the biggest thing. especially lately.
i dunno.
i work a lot.
i haven't been reading as much lately. it's a timing thing kinda. the cycles of book releases means that things i could read for free in hardcover when i was last working in a bookstore are coming out in paperback. the new titles are still in hardcover and i can't afford that. i gotta wait a bit longer for stuff that came out after i was a bookstore employee to come out in paperback so i can afford it.
i've found a few things i really absolutely love.
Sherman Alexie - he writes brilliant short stories about basketball actually...some of the most beautiful writing i've come across, and only a beautiful few stories are about basketball, and the rest of the beautiful stories are not. thanx to brook and colleen for lending me "the toughest indian in the world" and thanx to adam and michelle for the gift certificate that i used to buy more sherman alexie.
Cormac McCarthy - he writes biblically, epicly...he knows more words than the dictionary...and he can write in such a huge enormous grand scale (bigger than moby dick) and i'm enthralled and amazed by his language.
other than those two i've been struggling a bit to find books that really get me excited...although i've enjoyed a bunch of books i've read that i can't think of right now...
i just picked up the new tom waits...well i love (love) 2 out of 3 discs...i'll take it. i love the two discs i love enough that i don't mind having paid for the set.
i love sarah too. every day. all day... she gives that grinch heart-growing-to-be-two-sizes-too-big-for-his-chest feeling all the time. (actually i often have that feeling...i have a big heart...i hope so anyway...)
work is ok i hope...even though i'm on my last warning for talking out of turn (my well-documented low bullshit tolerance in action with clients who don't have their shit together...) actually i was given my last warning about a month or 6 weeks ago, and things have been pretty ok lately...i've been keeping my head down...and adam held an intervention... (actually i'm feeling vengeful...anything the women folk want me to talk to him about?...like the infamous "the women folk are worried about your drinking" intervention at the turn of the century...?)
anyway, i guess that's all i got.
tired. and struggling.
let's play poker and eat good food and have good times more often ok kids, otherwise the next post is gonna end up being an essay entitled "depression is like loneliness, that's why i'm the social convener - you guys make me feel better cuz you're good and you can't feel lonely when you're actually with good people"...hmm...don't make me use that title ok.
what's everyone up to this weekend?
i'm gonna go to cambridge and visit my family and relatives.
i'm gonna try to get back to this blogging thing. i'm hereby commiting to one posting every week. hopefully more. we'll see how it goes.
take care of yourselves ok.
you're important.
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