well...i am home now...i have showered...i have a beer in my hand...my girlfriend is nowhere to be seen...i feel i can tell this story now...as it should be told...
so we were hanging out...me and gord and pete...we'd just finished a good round of hacky sack...congratulated ourselves on previously maligned reflexes and flexibility...drinking drinks on the edge of our site, down a very short trail by the lake...shirtless...enjoying the breezes and a little "cold water therapy"...well we ran out of captain morgan's spiced rum - tastier than you think actually...so i got up to go grab another mickey...i stand up walk up the incline of shield rock and jump down off the granite into our site...so black bears are not really all that big it turns out...kinda big...like bigger than a really big dog...or a shetland pony...or a full-grown pig...well bigger than a lot of things...but not actually a whole lot bigger than me (when you see them on tv - the camera adds at least 10 pounds...)...but it's really and truly one of those situations where the whole size doesn't matter idea really holds water...so there's this bear...just shuffling a bit...about 35 feet away cuz we actually had a pretty big site...snuffling around gord's bivy sac...and i stop...i think i mighta said something pithy...like "oh..."....which got bear's attention...he...or she...(kinda hairy...hard to tell...) then turned and walked a couple steps and stood up...all the way up...i had time to wonder if bears have the same hit them in the nose thing as sharks before my legs reacted for me...only not very well...i backed right into a slight depression in the earth...i remembered it from how it messed me up in hacky sack - not that my memory was helpful...cuz stepping into that hole i hyperextended my left knee and then fell backwards (towards the bear...) and my glasses somehow fell off...and i jumped up again...stepping onto my glasses (turns out i crushed them utterly...)...which distracted me and i stubbed my toe so hard i fell down again...the good part is that all the thrashing about and screaming in pain/rage...well the bear thought i was too messed up to take on... who's the man...?
tune in later to find out which parts of this story are true...
also i had a dream that jeff and kendra are having twins...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment