all the pretty horses

two things happened today
1 - started my new job...and i'm feeling pretty good about it so far. it feels do-able, despite my lack of existing qualifications (i have tons of potential though...)
i like the place too.
also i got to correct adam already...on my first day!!! just so y'all know - LTC refers to longitudinal time code, not linear time code...i don't think adam will soon forget...hmm...but after the public shaming my job might get harder...ok just laugh behind your hands...you too michelle

2- i finished "all the pretty horses". phew... kinda rough. i broke down a bunch of times reading this. beautiful in the way that shield rock can be. the main characters are cowboys from the first half of the 20th century. taciturn. delightfully archaicly polite. but words and gestures are made sherpas by the weight of everything they have to convey. it's heartbreaking kinda. and i actually really love the vernacular of old texas ranch hands. "good ol' boys" might be my favourite people...or maybe it means something more to me...maybe i'm loading meaning high and deep into a small phrase...do i project like all the time?

hmm...sighing now i guess...it was such a good book though. anybody wanna borrow it?
paul

blecchharrgghblecccchhhthgarrgghblecch...

i wish i could call in sick on my life today...just stay at home playing video games or reading or laying in a hot bath...sigh...actually i did call in to say i wouldn't be renovating tonight...but still...when even paul stanley and gene simmons can't move me from my funk...maybe i should go shopping...alas i cannot cuz i gotta go to my mindfulness based stress reduction workshop...stupid workshop... actually i'm trying to use it to sort out my actual feelings right now...hmm...tired...yes...angry?...hard to tell, maybe, but what about?...angry about being tired...damn...kinda makes sense in a that's really stupid kinda way...frustrated?...about?...being tired?...sad?...no - one good answer...worried?...well yeah i guess - in job interviews i refer to this as proactive problem-solving...emotionally roller-coastered out?...could be could be - it would make sense cuz i got fired then got interviews for a really good job that i'm not qualified for but they hired me anyway (in case i haven't mentioned it i'll be working alongside adam "uhura" bolduc at crunch...i'll explain the uhura thing in person...) and this is really good news and i'm excited (well not right at this moment i'm not) about it and worried about it (aha! also worried)...and i also got a side job doing renovations for an old school friend (marco mucci) which has been really great...even satisfying to work with the hands...so a bit of emotional rollercoaster...but that sounds more true than it feels...hmmm...can't really pin down the actual feelings of my state i guess...oh well...it made for mildly entertaining prose...
so just in case you missed it - i got that job i was hoping for but not necessarily expecting. i'll be working in post-production at crunch with good ol adam. he's bringing the red bull to go with the jager when i celebrate the end of my vacation.
(you know how you make a boilermaker with a shot glass of scotch in a pint of beer?...try substituting jagermeister for scotch and red bull for the beer...it'll fuck you up kinda...and it's surprisingly tasty...like tahiti treat on steroids...even sarah likes it and you know how she is...about booze i mean...)
in other news...actually i don't have any other news.
hope y'all are well